had to go to the post office after work today to mail my rent and my copy of a key to my apartment...so, of course i had to go to the 3300, as well. 
bobby was tending bar and he seems to like me rather a lot.  he bought me a drink and gave me jukebox money--though i tipped him out enough for the drink when i left--i never know whether i should buy him a drink or not--anyway.
come-hither irish sleaze hottie was there...but i was talking to nice but irritating bore.  he would not shut up, and i would have rather talked to almost anyone else.  he's one of those people who talks really slowly, too, so you really can't EVER turn away to talk to anyone else, because he's just never fucking FINISHED.
anyway, drank a couple ciders and then pirouetted out the door.  now anubis is on my lap and i'm thinking about what i am going to have for dinner and how early i am going to need to get up to go to my meeting tomorrow morning in redwood city.
i should probably drink some water.

{title=a little drunk...}



i don't even particularly remember friday, but i know that i had a delicious nap after school and then slept better that night than i have in months.
saturday morning i went downtown with jeffrey for a bit and then came home, napped some more and then alice came over and we had drinks and a poor excuse for dinner before going off to the "grown up" party down in the marina, which was rather horrifying, though all the people were friendly enough.  it was just so obvious that i didn't belong in this amazingly gorgeous marina apartment with all these middle-aged rich blonds dancing like the gopher from caddyshack.  we stayed for an hour or two, enjoyed the priceless view from the roof and balcony, chatted with anna (which is always lovely) and then alice and i bailed for the 3300 club.
there was some live irish bluegrass playing which meant that we couldn't play the jukebox, but they were good and the atmosphere is always a pleasure.  i, of course, was seated next to a really old drunk guy who was chatting me up...we closed the place down and then walked home.
we both woke up by 730 the next morning, which is odd considering how late we were up.  we went and got some breakie at the hungry joe's on church--def. NOT vegetarian, as alice's chicken apple sausage would attest--and then decided to go down to the haight for a while.
it was still early for the haight--10am on a sunday is not a friendly time--so we decided to get a manicure at this place that was open.  alice got a pedicure and about half the way through that, this other woman sort of veered into the salon.  she sort of motioned me over and seemed to be really really medicated.  she started filing my left hand and totally ignored my right hand...she told me there wasn't enough polish to use the one i wanted even though the bottle was more than half full...it was just really bizarre. it took more than an hour to get a really mediocre nail job--she whispered everything and had a really strong accent, so i wasn't sure what she wanted me to do half the time. 
after that alice and i wandered and did some shopping. i tried on the most appalling dress i have ever had on my body at held over--it looked nice on the hanger, a loden green ribbon vintage number--but when i put it on it just clung to every roll of fat and misshapen part of me--i looked worse, by far, in this dress than i look naked because it made my fat spots CAST SHADOWS.  it was a horror show.
i did, however, get a lovely black velvet evening scarf and alice got a few cute things...we popped in for cider and boy watching and then went down to lower haight for further drinking and ethiopian grub for a late lunch.
when alice finally had to give it up and go do her homework, i went over to cati's and helped her make an instrument out of a cardboard tube and some bells and such--hopefully it will put all her competition to shame...
and then i think i went to bed!  all that drinking started to take its toll and i was sleeeeeeepy.
what a lovely weekend!
{title=a particularly lovely weekend...}



last night i went to see <I>moonlight mile</I> with jeffrey--basically for the obvious reason that i am mad for jake gyllenhaal.
it was a good movie--a little predictable in parts, but not as formulaic as it could have been.  i really like susan sarandon, too, so there were a lot of nice people to watch and a good, cathartic bit of empathetic grief and sadness.  it was also a good crowd--no cell phones and no talking once the movie started, which is practically never the case these days.
anyway, as we walked out and toward the train, we were talking about the movie and it made me both wistful and bitter...i want to be in love and i'm not and it's unlikely that it's going to happen any time soon at the rate i'm going here.  at least i can say i'm in the "loved and lost" category, i suppose.  that should be some comfort, but it's not. 
<P>whatever.  at least i have my cat.
{title=melancholy and bitter}


i went up to arcata this weekend and i had a great time, but i'm getting less and less patient with the driving.
still, it's the only way i get to see my mom and ann, so i know it's worth it.
i had a really nice time with ann--though i felt for her, as she had a lot of surreal problems to deal with.  (luckily i didn't cause any of them...)  i also made a new record of three different guys i scared away with my conversation at the alibi...
while i was up there, my mom and i hit the thrift shops and such, as is our wont.  pretty much the funniest thing that happened was when my mom and i went to the flea market in eureka.  we were walking around and we came to a table with a bunch of glass pipes...and she asked what they were, so i told her they were pipes...then she said "but there is a hole in them", and so i had to explain the carb...and then the lady who owned the booth came up and gave my mom a whole blow-by-blow of how to hold the pipe and what type of people prefer what type of pipe. it cracked me up.
my other funny story--well, i thought it was funny!--has to do with me going out with jeffrey on thursday night.  we went and had a drink at delerium and then got burritos at pancho villa...el noche is right next door, a fancy gay cholo bar, so we went there after dinner and already fairly drunk and etc.
we sat at the bar and we were chatting with each other and talking to the incredibly cute bartender, hugo, all with a background of a huge, larger-than-life painting of a naked man with a prominent erection on the wall behind us. when jeffrey got up to go use the ATM machine, hugo started asking me if we were from out of town and then if we were "just friends" and i honestly think he thought we were a couple and that we somehow didn't know we were in a gay bar!  it absolutely cracked me up.  (of course, i was drunk on cider and mojitos at that point...)
anyway, i just heard the final bell of the day and i think i am going to pretend like i don't have a lot of work to do and go home.
i miss home and i miss anubis when i am away.  right now i am also missing lunch.

{title=long weekend in arcata}



i had this dream that i was walking through a city--it was supposed to be san francisco, but it really wasn't.  it was, however, the same city i've been dreaming of for the last three nights, first about a subway system--a train like in <i>spirited away</I> and then a store, shopping with paul, drinking at a bar, paul leaving his notebook...
anyway, in this dream i am in the courtyard of an apartment, very open and sort of mediterranean. i am looking at the art and i'm enjoying it, but i have to leave.  then i'm
walking through the streets on my way to a date or something, and i see this sort of ladder/slide down a hill.  at this point, the place looks sort of like santa cruz...i go down the ramp and there are a bunch of sort of punk rock hippies just hanging out.  it's getting to be evening and it's slowly getting dark.
i end up down on the grass, making out with this small blond girl...we're kissing and rolling around and then a loud buzzing noise comes up and this thing appears and starts spinning out of the sky toward us that i swear looked just like a big ruffles potato chip.  i break it up, but it re-forms and i have to completely crush it along with help from the girl and her boyfriend...somewhere along the line i get passed off to the boyfriend and he is going to take me home, as it's getting late.  first he is going to drive me and then a friend of his is going to drive us, but he is just stoned and doesn't seem to feel like getting me home at all.  finally he says that he hears the J train coming and we should just go catch it, but i think it's too far away...we cut through this sort of bad area and are planning on actually going through this building, but as soon as we enter the doorway, there is a guy hiding off to the side with this big knife.
he is menacing, but he is also sort of comic.  he's obviously all fucked up on something and doesn't seem to really know what to do with us.  he assumes we are a couple, though after the first few moments we spent together, the boyfriend isn't really that appealing.  the bad guy starts to go through my wallet and there are pictures of my ex-boyfriends and he wants me to tell him about them and then tell him how this new guy fits in.  he steals the $30 i have in my wallet and then forces us to smoke some crystal or crack or something, even though i don't want to do it...
about then i woke up.
it was a really odd dream and i'm not sure what to make of it.  the fact that i've dreamt about this same place three nights in a row and yet it isn't a "real" place is intriguing.  also, i suppose, i am working out some boyfriend angst, as the exs have been turning up.  shawn twice and paul several times...and the fact that i was getting it on with a girl but then got passed along to a boy--wonder what that's all about.
anyway, wanted to write it down before i forgot all about it;  i wish i had for the other dreams.



i am so ready for a weekend.  preferably a drunken orgy of a weekend, but, that failing, a nice long nap would do.
oh, and speaking of orgies, i got a fairly amusing suggestive phone call here at the library yesterday, asking if i had "any of them sex books".  thus far, no one i know has admitted to doing it, but i can't imagine it was really a random occurrence.
i think i need to buy a new bottle of jagermeister so i can make some red-headed sluts.  what could be better than that?
{title=red-headed slut, anyone?}


it's been busy lately and i've been easily distracted, as well.
this weekend i helped cati with an amazingly cute (if i do say so myself) handmade book for one of her classes--many exhausting hours, but time well spent.  i also spent time this weekend in libraryland, shopping with alice and making beads with peita.  busy busy busy!
now i'm breathing a brief sigh of relief to have the last homework done and waiting in grim anticipation for the next bout to come through.  this teacher is not a good online instructor, though he is a bit of a hottie.
{title=testing, testing...}


old journal